Jaded Once More

Spending November mostly in isolation cos I had too much fun the month before. 

Now I'm wondering if I have over-isolated myself. 

Is there even such a thing as too much fun?

Because I'm Tardy at Blogging Like That Lah

The 15th November List

Mood:

Slightly despondent. The to-do list is overflowing with assignment due dates, weekly presentation transparency slides, and a test next week etc. And because of the public holiday that falls on Wednesday, I had an extra two hours to clock into college until 5.30pm which the lecturer fail to inform us to pack along our study texts which resulted in me furiously flipping the inadequately prepared lecture notes, in vain, in hopes of grasping some knowledge that is being passed down by Madam Tai, again, in vain.

Listening to: 

Before It's Too Late, Boyce Avenue

Downloading: 

iTunes version 10.1. Every time I come online there nearly always seems to be a new version available. That gives you a clear picture of how often I make an appearance on this webby world.

Breakfast: 

Milk, fish biscuits and an apple I tapao-ed from home. 

Goals for today:

Check Email. i MUST start studying for next week’s test. Kenott barely pass another Mid-term :/ cannot afford to fail these subjects, otherwise I don't get to graduate! 

Loving:

My new shampoo! 

Wanna watch: 

Sepet 

Craving for: 

Fried mushrooms from the RM2.50 vegetarian shop which is a bus ride away (and back). Total damage = RM 2.50 + RM 2.50 (proper meal) + RM 2.00(bus tickets) + 90 minutes of my life I cannot get back that rightfully should be channeled into doing my assignment + a shower after hiking back to my room + unnecessary cholesterol intake. When you put it down like that, you know what, nevermind lah. 

Annoyed cos: 

Facebook lets people upload (and tag) fugly pictures of you! Or namely, me :[ and Sha keeps pestering me to visit her new and yet-to-be-identified pet. 

I miss: 

Those days when I could miss a whole week of school and still keep up with school work. 

-____-

Split Splat Lemon Whaaaat?

Yesterday, I got caught in a heavy shower while walking out to get some vegetarian food not two hundred and fifty steps beyond the hostel gates.

Thankfully, I have my red umbrella.

However, I vividly remember it sticking out from the paper box I shoved under the bed, in my room, which were some hundred steps back. While I was running to get it, I thought about the strange epilogue life signals us all ─ we always have the necessary paraphernalia to counter the lemons that life throws at us, but most of the time, those paraphernalia are locked up in the depths of our heart, and we waste an enormous amount of time (and energy) trying to find them. By the time we've found them, we have already been defeated by adversity."

You know now, always be prepared.

Ciplaked

Diversion

Today I am going to bore you with the things I do before falling asleep because I need to stop thinking about college and everything related to it for a moment. Nowadays, I fall asleep on more decent and humane hours which are usually slightly before two and hardly ever after two thirty. This is so because my current timetable is set in manner where I have to be up and hopping about in the showers before eight every morning or I’ll miss the morning shower and end up grumpy dumpy for the rest of the day.

─

After switching off the computer or clearing whatever it is I was doing (being the nerd that I am, studying), I do my ritual of brushing teeth activity, wash face, wipe face, wipe feet, clear my mug/bowl in the pantry if there’s any, count my slippers/number of clothes hangers on the rack outside my room, lock door, yawn a thousand yawns, plug out mobile phone’s recharging socket out of the power switch, set alarm seeing that i am very dependent on alarms, take off my glasses, read a little, hop onto my bed, adjust pillow, blanket myself, lie down, double check if i correctly set the alarm in am and not pm, mentally wish my roommate goodnight, think of people I miss, even out my breaths, and then fall asleep.



Bloody long ritual and I don’t exactly know how I did it. Or even why.

Keep Moving Forward (Eat or be Eaten)

The decision to go overseas is not something which can be taken lightly. I know this because I am already living somewhere I do not call home, and it has changed my life, the way I see myself and almost destroyed me at times. Yet, thanks to the people around me, I know it is not life which truely breaks me, but myself. I am the one who has let my thoughts devour me, the one who hid, the one who shied away when opportunities came knocking, the one who allowed negativity to claw its way through my door.

Just last week I was literally shoved off the edge to find myself standing at the tip of a balancing pole (52638 feet high) where I have to choose between staying on in Cinallege and *inserts foreign country. I can imagine you out there virtually yelling in my ear, with built in amplifiers, in support of the latter. Of course a foreign education would win hands down but if only you would just listen to my concerns before nudging me towards one direction of the shaft I so uncertainly lull upon.

But alas, a choice has to be made. And, I am staying.

Times like this seem hard. When you make a decision to stay, and everyone else leaves, visions of a possible future flash by your eyes, and just as quickly disappear, with no sign or mark of its passing but the slight wind that ruffles through your hair. This niggling feeling that the world is moving on to greater heights, heights I am able and have always wanted to achieve, and leaving me behind, just won’t go away. I know this is a topic which has been discussed and advised on almost to death. But hey, we're all human. Doubts and distress are a part of life, and without them, what would there be to make movies about? Despite the feeling of regret, I know in my heart that I am strong enough to overcome these petty emotions, which I am brave enough to see my decision through and remain where I am.



Note to self: choosing to remain is not the same as choosing to come to a standstill in life. (insert smiley face)

Tissue and Fireworks

We should have more info sharing sessions in the future. I will personally allocate time to accommodate the transfer of data :P


P/s: See you soon okay Xian. If not, I'll ask Guan Yin Ma to close her eyes when you're talking STPM. I'm out-rightly making threats for your company, serious tau -___-"

Be Right Back

Um. Hello..
I can explain! Well I think I can.

• I seem to have vanished from the face of the internet. I didn’t even write on my best friend’s birthday nor about what I did during EarthHour, which seems to be the hot topic that’s appearing on nearly everyone’s blog -_- Outdated, I am.

• I figured out that my overused excuse of being lazy is well, overused. So I tried thinking of a new one. But I couldn’t. Why? Because I was too lazy to even try for more than five seconds. At least, I earn brownie points for honesty.

• The past coupla weeks, has seen Weishya at its worst. Unforeseen mood swings, weird food cravings, college work, and recently; tests and project proposals.
• I’ve adapted back my old habit of napping in the afternoons. Total waste of time but at the very least, it helps with my mood and studying late into the night.
• Last Monday I lost my thumb drive. Will SOMEONE please hit me on the head? It is simply depressing how scatterbrained I can be sometimes. And Sheryl just called me a big head prawn in cantonese, whatever that means. Remember I mentioned about not blogging on Crystal’s birthday? Well, I typed out one lengthy post and my thumbdrive went missing along with her post. *sibeh tulan* Typing it all out seems very disheartening, sorry Tal.

• I learnt that carelessness has a price to pay. Indeed it does.
• I am 100% metal free, if you know what I mean :D :D :D
• I volunteered/got dragged into a position for an event that is gonna be held on such a large scale I don’t even wanna think about the massive paper work that comes attached with the title of Honorary Secretary. (I’ll elaborate more on this in future blog posts)
• My grandpa was in a hospital I pass by nearly every other weekend back to Stapak yet I didn’t know of its existence until the other day. Yesterday, he was discharged, and you know what? He’s as absurd as I am when it comes to food. He refused home cooked porridge and demanded for Ipoh Ngar Choi Kai. -____-

• The blog is still under construction, actually, I’d be amazed if you have tracked me down. As you can see the links have not been fully updated. Will work on it when I have more time in my hands. Let me know what you think of the new look okay ;)
• Now that I think of it, I’m musing on the thought of never resurfacing in the blogosphere. That would save me the trouble of setting up a private blog. Hmm.
• I have found solace in peanut butter and banana sandwiches, superdupergood I tell you. Go try, go try! I’ll give you one buck as compensation if not nice.

I have some proposal writing to do so I’ll TRY find time to find internet in this jungle of books and madness to update you more on my, chaotic albeit boring life. I hope.

P/s: Have a good April ahead of you! :D

That Green Thing

I don't know why does it affect me so much, but it does.

It is just a picture, period.

A Little Bit Too Big

There are the things that matter, the things that don’t matter, and lastly, the things that we convince ourselves do matter, but actually don’t.

At the end of the day, it all boils down to who’s important and who’s not, what's truly important and what's not and whether it is really necessary.

And that's that.

2009 is making it's way through despite the jumble of events, it's time I, the one who is always greater at telling what to do, to listen to myself, and etch that in my puny head.

Untitled

BELIEVE

The best part of believe is the lie.
Fall Out Boy

This Post Was Meant To Be A Waste Of Space

I waited bloody AGES for this page to load, yea, retarded library computers, and then I oh-so-conveniently forgot what I wanted to post.

Amnesiac, much?

Such As We Are Made Of

Being hostel ridden is depriving me of many things. I spend less time at home. Less time with the family. Lesser time with friends and with the comfy bed which I find less and less comfort in. this is increasingly frustrating each weekend I come home. Why? Because everyone's so keen on having a fraction of my time back home and it's driving me nuts. It's not like I don't WANT to. I'm merely human with 24 hours a day and can only be at one place at once, okay so shoot me alright.

:(

Tell Me It Isn't True

It’s one thing when a rumour is just a rumour.

Even if it buzzes and stings, no permanent damage is done.

But there’s a world difference when the rumour is true.

It changes things altogether.